Lets talk about depression and how to make it better
Friday, May 13, 2016
depression creeps upon you quitely.
and you never thought about it
at the very beginning you struggle with the little things, but usually choose to ignore them
pretending like nothing happend and everything just fine
its like a headache. youll tell yourself its temporary and it will pass
thinking today just A bad day and tomorrow gonna be better
its just another bad day
you tell your self again and again
but its not.
youre not okay
youre stuck in this state of mind
eventhought you try to lied that you are okay.... but it is Not!
you get to putting on a social mask and you continue to live among other people
you keep telling your self to act normal
because that what you have to do
to still live and accepted in society
how ever the problem does not go away
it keeps haunting you
you struggle to put on a play every day and it start to cost you more and more
you think that drowning on your job gonna make you okay
that is why you fall even deeper and thats when you slowly start to back away from friends and
family
you need a "ME" time, you pretend
sometimes completely shutting them out
because you feel insecure
all satisfaction is gone
you lost all motivation
the little things that used to bring you joy are now wortless
all you wanna do is Nothing and you feel empty
even the simplest task become painfull
everything seems wrong
that is why you lack motivation
this is why you lost you spirit and soul
now.... why would you keep on trying if nothing makes you happy anyway
feels like a looser
all of this makes you feel even worse and you get caught up in vicious circle
you feeling sad all the time
suddenly you find your self living in slow motion
day become indistinguishable.... just white noise, just... heaviness, filling your mind and spilling over your body
it start like a meaningless live
your mind and spilling your body.
negativity start controlling your body
you feel as though youll never be happy again
everything is not worthed
you continue to back away and destroy relationships
not letting any one in
you ashames for everything youve done and everything you havent
you never did anything right
there is part of you that wants to make things right a sudden positive upsurge makes you want to go out and meet people
but you scared of people and what they thinking about you
but... its all very short lived.. because you know it wont work anyway
it wouldnt change anything
thing that make your friends exited leave you indifferent
they leaving you alone
and you become aware of the huge gap that lies between you
and you feel it
another failure is not an option
you dont wanna do this anymore
so in the end you choose to be alone in your omfort zone where no one asks any questions
and everything just gonna be okay
the low self esteem and the lack of purpose become unbearable
i cant do this anymore
you finally realize you cant go on that way
can i stop here?
im tired....
and two thing can happen
you either decide to get some help...
or you.... might attemt a suicide
.
.
.
.
And i decide to writing
because i do believe that writing is healing
listening happy instrument gonna make you fell a lil bit better
cheers
freddy :)
2 comments
I've been had some depression lately.
ReplyDeleteso many things happen at work, private life too.
and I do write a lot too.
it's help, because when I write, I can say everything that I cant say through words.
magically, I dont know how but it help to heal me faster.
also a family support and faith (never stop praying).
good post.
http://http://kireinoclouds2.blogspot.com/
thankyou, thats very sweet of you :)
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